Forum and Mini Poll victim to survivor

Our experienced behavior therapist has this to say: "When we are faced with a difficult task, we tend to think, "When I feel stronger and less afraid, I will do it." The truth is that only

by DOing the thing will we begin to feel stronger and less afraid. ACTing changes

us into the person we want to be, not "FEELing." You are scared. That is perfectly natural. All the reasons you should n o t leave are putting up imaginary barriers. That is natural. Brave people are people who do the thing they are s c a r e d to do. The idea terrifies them. The last thing they feel

is brave. They just jump. Do not let anything or anyone stop them! After they have done the brave act, they begin to feel they were brave. But in the middle of the act, their hearts were pounding and their

palms were sweating and they felt like they might die, they were so scared. Fear doesn't kill.

Doing nothing often puts people in far more danger. Get out a suitcase and start packing. If you pack one thing a day, you will be that much closer to your goal. If you are afraid you will get caught packing,

take a sack or a bag of some kind to a friend's house and sneak your clothes out of your place

in a pocketbook or a big casserole dish {no kidding} one at a time. Hide them in the car or

wherever. The point is to t a k e s t e p s. One at a time, then two, then three. . .soon you will be looking back saying, "Thank God I ignored my pounding heart and cold feet. I am F R E E."

Phyllis Jean Green

December 20,2005

Call On A Friend

We must borrow a page from Heaven,

And become Angels while we search,

For answers we're unsure of,

When we struggle here on earth.

Each day we need the love of a friend,

Who will listen when our heart feels sorrow,

We must share with one another,

Not just today, but for tomorrow.

We seek answers to our questions,

When we're discouraged and feeling down,

As to why God's children are murdered,

And left to decay upon the ground.

A man rapes once, a man rapes twice,

His mind is evil beyond repair,

But our justice system has failed to protect,

And they lurk freely everywhere.

No one is safe from a demon who walks,

There's no respect for life young or old,

It is murder and rape or abduct you,

As countless news stories are being told.

For innocent families who are paying a price,

Whose wife, daughter, or son,

Has met up with the hand of a killer,

Caused by what the justice system has done.

So on the days your heart lays heavy,

And there's nothing you can lend,

Be sure to talk with someone,

That someone who is your friend.

~valentyne~ ©

Though the poem ended up sounding as if it is addressed to a woman, I wrote it with both sexes in mind. Men are abused, too! Percentage may not be as high -- hard to tell because of under-reporting -- but it happens a lot. As for child abuse, don't get me started!! Thank all creation for organizations such as Angels That Care and anti-domestic-violence fighters like my friend, ATC head Marcia Duning. Peace and Good Will, regardless of season. 'Pea ---- Marcia calls me Pod....cool, huh._____________________________________..

Abuse a Fact, Help Another

Facts, facts, facts, Charles Dicken's Micawber said,

repeat, said. Facts about domestic abuse are easy

to find and hard to take. Boil down to many,

many, many victims, and keep counting. To too

little understanding and far too much fear.

Bruised, pummeled, punched, kicked, dragged,

slapped, raped, and cursed by those who promised

to love and protect. Again, repeat, again, repeat,

repeat again: That, Micawber, is a fact.

A fact often ignored or misunderstood: abuse

is not the victim's fault. If you are a victim,

look in the mirror and repeat again, repeat again,

again repeat: This is not my fault. I am not .

the one who is threatening. I am not the one

scarring. I am not the one finding fault.

I am not the one pounding. I am not the one

in the wrong. And I am not, repeat, not, alone..

Something like a quarter of female victims

of crime are the targets of criminals

that call themselves husbands, lovers,

fathers, friends, companions, partners.

Half or more have children under twelve.

These are facts. And this: Help IS

within reach. Resources are just waiting

to be tapped. If you can't get to a phone,

the Internet or a shelter, ask a friend

or neighbor, a minister, a cop – check

directories or have someone check

for you – to help you and any children

involved. More than you imagine

are,. or have been, where you are --

or are now. This is fact, too.

But the number one fact to remember

is that you have it in you to act

on your own. Take back your life.

Love and respect who you are.

Climb around fear on your way out.

Hey, you're a class act. 's' a fact!

for Angels That Care

Welcome to Yesterday’s child. This is a site set up for people of all ages that have been affected by child hood abuse or adult rape, and the people that care for them.

We offer support through the support forum, and through various information here on the main site.Feel free to browse through the information. On the right is a list of books that members of the support forum have found useful. If you click on the books image it will take you to Amazon where you can order them if you so wish.

We also offer a support board where other survivors can come and receive support. To use the forums you do need to register an account.

! ! ! Safety Warning ! ! !

If you are in danger, please try to use a computer in which someone abusive does not have direct or indirect (hacking) access.

It may be safer to use a computer other than your own, such as at the public library, at a community technology center, a friend’s house or an Internet Cafe. You can contact www.ctcnet.org for a directory of technology centers near you.

If you think your activities are being monitored, then they probably are. Abusive people are controlling and often want to know your every move. They do not need to be a computer programmer or have special skills to monitor your computer activities – anyone can do it and there are many different ways.

Computers can provide a lot of information about you. For instance, sites you view on the Internet and the email's you send. It is not possible to delete or clear all computer “footprints” or history.

Don't tell me that you understand, don't tell me that you know

Don't tell me how I will survive, how I will surely grow.

Don't tell me this is just a test, that I am truly blessed,

That I am chosen for this task apart from all the rest.

Don't come at me with answers that can only come from me

Don't tell me how my grief will pass, that I will soon be free.

Don't stand in pious judgment of the bonds I must untie

Don't tell me how to suffer, don't tell me how to cry.

My life is filled with selfishness, my pain is all I see

But I need you and I need your love unconditionally.

Accept me in my ups and downs, I need someone to share

Just hold my hand and let me cry and say

"My friend............... I care."

Unknown