Why Do People Runaway
"There are many reasons why people runaway, and if others understand what goes on in the thoughts and emotions of those who do run, it may help prevent more. I can't possibly go through them all but I can talk about myself. I ran away the first time when I was 4 years old, would have run at around 14 to 16 and ran again at 21.
I have my suspicions that running like this is a form of mental illness, much like depression, I still get those feelings to this day where I would like to "disappear" when things get tough going for me, only now as a single parent I fight the urge and keep going and stay.
The first time I ran at 4 was simply because I felt unwanted and unloved, my mother had recently given birth to my brother, and up until then I had still been sleeping in my crib, in my parents room. At his birth I was moved into my own room and a big bed with no explanations. To cap this he was born disabled and needed several hospital appointments and an operation to correct his physical disability. I felt pushed out, not wanted, no-one thought to explain to me what was happening and why. I may have been a child, but I still had feelings. So one morning I packed a few toys and walked several miles to my grandmother's. Naturally I got taken back, but still no explanations, even after I told them why I left. I grew up in that kind of atmosphere with a mother who never talked or listened to whatever I said, there was a lot of other stuff going on too, it became clear as I grew up that she never bonded with me and she did admit that she didn't want me and would have sent me to a children's home if it wasn't for my dad refusing to let her. i would have ran as a teenager, but I didn't know where to go, besides at that point my mother at this point had another child, my sister, whom I instantly became very close and protective towards.
I did the next best thing in my mind, I married at 17 at the first opportunity, in fact I became pregnant by mu boyfriend and I think looking back it was a subconscious act to leave the family home as my mother said she would put me out onto the streets if I did get pregnant.
The last time I ran at 21, I had a little girl and was unhappily married. My husband was in the kitchen and something snapped in my mind, I felt worthless, all those years of being mentally beaten down, not listened to, feeling unwanted, unappreciated, came to a head. I got up from the sofa, didn't even collect my coat or purse, walked out of the house, leaving the door open. It was pitch dark and I walked pretty much as I was able, allowing for turns in the roads, etc, in a straight line from my door. I had no idea where i was heading for, the instinct was to walk in a straight line. As it happens that direction took me to the cliff tops at our coastline, I didn't feel suicidal, there was no urge to jump so I was faced with turning left or right. At first I followed the path to the right, it was in my head that runaways all headed to London, and London was right. Then it occurred to me if all runaways went to London, that "they" would look for me first there. In actual fact my family would never consider looking for me in London, but my thinking and logic wasn't right, anyway I turned and began walking in the opposite direction and headed north, I had every intention of walking to Scotland as ludicrous as it seems, but at least I had enough sense to walk back to a footpath away from the edge of the clifftops. After walking for some time I was going past a house with an open bedroom window, from which I heard a young child cry for it's mother, it was only this that brought me out of that state of mind and walked back home, where I found my husband going up the wall with worry after finding me gone and the door left open.
Like I have said when things get on top of me, I do get a return of the feeling to flee but I manage to keep them under control now.
Parents must talk to their children and support and encourage them, and help them to express how they feel. My 2nd husband died when my two boys were young and had to get specialist bereavement counseling as it is recognized that children have a hard time expressing emotions. It can be difficult enough for adults sometimes, but children often don't have the vocabulary and understanding, but they can still feel the same emotions as adults. There are so many temptations and wrong roads for children to go down and without communication with wiser souls they are invariably traveled. Teenagers find it hard to talk to adults, they believe we don't understand, forget we were teenagers too and know the temptations, it is even harder to talk if they never learned to talk when younger. Teenagers also have a lot of self esteem issues, I remember not speaking for such a long time because I had it in my head that my voice sounded so awful, lol.
Family values have changed so much over the years, so many families have both parents working, and the kids are left to come home from school to empty homes and when the working parent/s come home they have no time to spend with the children. Spending more quality time is no guarantee that your son/daughter won't run...my own daughter was a runaway too for different reasons, but it does help, especially if you stress to them that their welfare is more important than a new car an annual vacation, designer clothes, etc. And if you MUST work, to keep food in their bellies and a roof over their head, it is important to set aside time for them, even if it is just to watch a movie on TV with them, and listen to what they say without criticizing their opinions
The NCMEC posters
Notifications marked ‘Restricted’
"May mean the case has been resolved and they are just awaiting confirmation so they pull the picture off the site but have not yet officially closed the case.
May mean there is an update to the photo, additional information added to the case that needs to appear on the poster or corrections need to be made.
May mean a missing person has had a birthday. The posters state the current age so expect if a person is still missing when their birthday arrives the NCMEC has to correct the current age on the poster.
In all of the above instances the poster will not be available at the link provided in the original bulletin.
Out of the above reasons #3 is the most common reason for a ‘Restricted’ notice being sent. It is frustrating for anyone using these posters for a website because the intended purpose is not to post the links to websites but to print the posters and distribute them.
The majority of the runaways are repeats. Many of the runaways are running away from group homes and foster homes. Pay attention to the backgrounds in the photos of the teens. You will notice that many of them have some sort of picture in the background. This has to be consistent with some sort of wall mural at a county facility. The other’s have a painted brick background, consistent with juvenile hall facilities.
Chronic runaway is a very bad social problem that can only be addressed through family intervention and counseling – "
